No One Will Know
by statefarmsnake
Summary: Contains Red x Zim. Red and Zim are in a hidden relationship and Zim is curious if they will ever... come out of the closet, per se. Red doesn't want to tell anyone... but perhaps someone already knows.
1. Chapter 1

No One Will Know

Chapter 1

"Are you ever going to tell Purple?"

"I don't know."

This was the first time that Zim asked Red if he would tell Purple about their secret relationship. Most times he would just ask if they were ever going to tell people like Dib… or Skoodge, who was living with Zim at the time… or even Keef for some odd reason. But this was the first time that Zim asked about Purple, Red's main partner since the very beginning of The Academy.

And he had no idea if he could gather the gall to tell him about a relationship with one of the most idiotic, defective irken that he will ever know.

"Isn't he your best friend?" Zim asked.

"Yes, but… I don't think he would understand."

"Why not?"

"It's complicated."

Zim was always so destructive and boisterous around everyone else. But when he was with Red, he maintained his loyal stature that he always did with his Tallest. The only difference was that instead of salutes and pummelings, there were kisses and head 'bonks'.

On top of that, Zim was getting more and more curious every day. "That's the one thing that bothers me," Red would often think to himself. "How can one short little irken have so many questions? It would make his head explode."

But Red continued to pursue with Zim, because he truly did hold some affections for him. The way that Zim destroyed things and spoke so strongly to him. No one else could possibly keep a conversation interesting like Zim could. Everything that Red did seemed so much more exciting when Zim said it, and he appreciated him for that.

And the idea of being in a taboo relationship with one of the most detached irkens made it all seem so devious. Something interesting that he didn't get when he was on the Massive with Purple. It made him feel so much freer, and Zim was more than happy to oblige.

"Are you ashamed of Zim?"

Red wrapped his arm around Zim. He knew that Zim didn't like it, but in truth, they were both growing accustomed to the intimacy. "No, I am not ashamed of you. But you should understand what would be at stake if we start telling people about what we're doing."

"I know…" Zim said, his antennae falling. He was normally so powerful, but around Red, he felt so weak. This _was_ his Tallest after all. His supreme leader… but also his boyfriend. That was confusing. "But why does it have to be so hard. We can't do anything outside of this house and it can get so _boring_."

"Patience," Red responded. He often had to say that, though the meaning behind the word was beginning to deteriorate. "I'll work something out."

"Zim _has _been patient for so long," Zim said. "How long has it been?"

"Since what?" Red asked.

"The kiss," Zim said innocently.

Red blinked and sighed. "Three months." Three months since Red came down to check on Zim's progress after countless transmissions of Zim begging. Three months since Red's realization. Three months since Red gave in to his urges and kissed Zim, something he would've never done before. "Yeah, I think it was three months."

"It's been _so_ long."

"It could be longer," Red said.

"I know, and I trust you more than any being in this universe," Zim said. "But I… I want to show these _hyoomans_ the menacing duo that is Almighty Tallest Red and _Zim!"_ He escaped from Red's arms and lifted his arms in triumph.

"Yes, and how are those plans for conquest going for you?" Red asked. He already knew the answer, but he figured he should ask anyways.

"Eh…" Zim scratched the back of his head. "Well?"

"Yeah, right," Red said. "Listen, Zim. Purple and the rest of Irk still believe that you are banished on Earth. I can't quite have you destroying it yet."

"I can only wait so _long_, though," Zim said. "Invader blood is _in _my veins, and I want to be able to please you. I want to prove to you that I can be a supreme invader in your stead."

"You are already proving to me enough," Red said, waving his arm. "And once I find a comfortable time to tell Purple, then we can start with the destruction of Earth. You could then _officially_ be an invader of Earth."

Zim pumped his fists and got excited. "Okay, perhaps I can wait a little bit longer. The Dib-human hasn't been getting in the way lately, so when the time comes, I can unleash my ultimate plan. It'll be most destructive."

"Good," Red said. "And hopefully it won't be long now. Keep in mind, this secret isn't as easy for me to keep, either. I see Purple almost every day and I have to make up an excuse for why I leave. I can't just tell him that I'm going to Earth."

"I see," Zim said. "But I trust you. You are a Tallest, so you must know what you're doing."

"I do," Red said. He knelt down a bit and Zim went on his toes before giving each other a kiss on the lips. This was a routine that they had and they were beginning to enjoy it. Especially after they began to understand the ideals of intimacy in a relationship.

After standing up to full height, Red was going to say something, but he was cut-off by someone walking into the room.

"My Tallest! It is a pleasure to see you after so long!" Skoodge exclaimed as he bowed in front of his leader.

"Skoodge?" Zim asked. "I thought I sent you out to get some of the human food. That should've taken you hours."

Skoodge stood up. "Yeah, but the stores were closed because there was some kind of robbery, so I thought I would come back later. And it seems I came at an optimal time."

"Yeah… I guess you did," Red said uncomfortably. He had forgotten that Skoodge lived with Zim. He looked up and down his figure. Fat and ugly, as usual. Many stains coating his uniform, more than usual.

"My Tallest, is this my chance to be able to return to the Massive? I have sent so many transmissions, but it seems that none of them were returned," Skoodge said, putting his hands together.

Red looked at Skoodge, then at Zim, then at Skoodge. "Ehh… the Brains are still debating on your return, Skoodge. I will inform you on the results as soon as I have more information." Though, Red was completely lying. As much as he would love to get Skoodge off of Zim's hands, he didn't want to have to deal with him later on.

"Oh, of course," Skoodge said. "Tell them to take their time on their decision-making. Zim has been giving me a home and I have started my life on Earth nicely." Skoodge looked at Zim with a bright smile before returning his focus to Red. "So my Tallest, if you haven't come here to reinstate me as an invader and give me a reassignment, then why are you here? Oh! Would you like a cookie? I made cookies yesterday!"

Red blinked. He didn't realize how loyal Skoodge could be, even after being launched out of cannon as part of an Organic Sweep. "Um… no cookies for me, thank you. But I'm having a private conversation with Zim about his… future with the Earth."

"Yes, so run along, _Skoooodge_," Zim lashed out as he butted in his face against Skoodge's. "Can't you see that I'm having an important conversation with my Tallest? Why don't you go downstairs and play with your dolls like you always do?"

"Wha-" Red nearly exclaimed before chuckling.

"That was one time!" Skoodge exclaimed before frowning a bit. "Some girl gave them to me. Just randomly put them in my hands and I figured I had to do something with them." He thought for a moment, then looked up at Red. Red was chuckling a bit to himself before looking away. "But if you two need your privacy, then I will leave you to it."

"Good, now get lost," Zim said, shooing Skoodge away.

Skoodge left the kitchen, though instead of returning to his room, he hid behind the wall in order to listen in on Zim and Red's conversation. He knew for a fact that Zim was banished to Earth as punishment for his terrible involvement in Operation Impending Doom I, so he was curious why his Tallest would even bother with coming all of his way to visit a banished irken.

'Maybe he is giving Zim a second chance,' Skoodge thought to himself.

He peaked his 'ear' forward and heard, "So you have been away longer than you were last time."

"It's complicated," Red said. "I can't leave until I am absolutely certain that I am not needed for a couple of days. Otherwise I would not be able to spend much time with you."

"Would I ever be able to go up to the Massive?" Zim asked. "In secret, of course. I could always tell Skoodge that I'm going on an expedition to see if I could find other planets like Mars to pilot."

There was a chuckle. Probably Red's. "Perhaps, maybe you could come with me for a few days. If you aren't going to do any invading at the moment, then you have no purpose on Earth."

"Zim likes that," he said. "It'll be good to return to the Massive where I belong. Where _all_ of the good irkens belong."

"Sure, you're a very good irken," Red said. "Now get over here for a second."

Skoodge antennae peaked and he wondered what that last statement meant. He was already incredibly confused, but he was about to get his answers. There was his Tallest on his knees and Zim on his toes. Red rested his hand on Zim's shoulder and brought him forward into a kiss.

Skoodge couldn't believe what he was seeing, and he wiped his eyes to make sure that he wasn't just dreaming. Though, he knew that all of it was real. He almost wanted to yell out, but then he remembered that he wasn't supposed to be there witnessing the kiss. He quickly walked away and went over to the elevator. Once the elevator doors closed, he let out a heavy breath. "What did I just see?!"


	2. Chapter 2

No One Will Know

Chapter 2

The following morning, Red woke up in Zim's bed. Zim had been diligent enough to lock the door and cover the window so that no one, not even Skoodge, could catch the fact that he actually slept in the same bed as Red. Though, in the back of his mind, Zim felt very honoured to be even given the opportunity and wanted to flaunt it as much as possible. However, that would only serve to make his Tallest… Red upset with him, which was the last thing that he wanted.

Red nudged Zim as he got out of bed. "Get up. We need to go."

Zim peaked an eye open and said in a low tone, "I have not completed a full rest cycle."

"Purple's going to be suspicious if I take much longer to return to the Massive," Red said as he stripped out of his pajamas. "Besides, wouldn't you want to get out before Skoodge woke up?"

Zim thought for a moment before nodding. "Yes, perhaps you are right, Red."

Red nodded. "Of course I'm right. Now… can you help me with my uniform?"

Zim lifted his head and went to the side of the bed until he could properly see Red in the dark. He was down to his undergarments and was holding his uniform out in front of him. "Oh, my Tallest."

"Don't get aroused," Red said. "Now's not the time for you to get flustered. Can you help me with my uniform?" he asked again.

Zim shoved his thoughts aside, though he knew that Red was so good at reading his mind simply based on his expression. He hopped off of the bed and grabbed Red's uniform. He brought the robe around him. As he tightened it to form on his waist, Zim ended up awfully close to Red's body. He moved his head back again.

Red smirked as he put on his chest brace. He often felt content whenever he made Zim uncomfortable. While he did hold a certain attraction for him, it was still fun to be the boss. "Come on, Zim. I think you need to press into it a little bit more."

Zim tightened it finally before taking a step back. "I think it's tight enough for you, Red. I do not wish to make you uncomfortable for the sake of tightness."

"Oh, what a shame~," Red mused, an even bigger smirk on his face. "Oh, I think you did it wrong. Maybe take it off."

"Reeed…" Zim said, catching on to Red's ploy. "You said you wouldn't do this to Zim."

Red laughed. "I'm just having my fun." He put on the rest of his uniform himself and turned towards the door. "Now, are we going to leave, or is there anything else that you would like to do?"

Zim shook his head. "Let's get out of here." He opened the door for Red to step through before going through it himself. He walked down the stairs silently as Red simply floated on his own. They then exited the front door and headed for Red's cloaked ship in the front yard. Though, as they uncloaked it, they didn't realize that there was a spy amongst them.

Dib, of course.

Dib smirked as he saw Zim and Red exiting. "Heheh, I knew you two were up to something. There's no way that a Tallest would be down on Earth unless there was something really bad." Dib blinked. "And I should stop talking to myself."

He climbed out of his hiding spot and went even closer as the ship came into visibility. They were already stepping in, and it wouldn't be smart for Dib to go after them directly. In reality, as he saw how tall Red was, he was slightly intimidated by him. Besides, he had a more… intricate plan.

Once the two irkens were inside the main cockpit, Dib ran from behind, making sure that he stayed within the shadows so that he wouldn't be caught. Once he made it to the back of the ship, he made every effort to open it up from behind. He felt around and eventually found a switch that opened a tiny slot. He entered, barely fitting at all and went into the supposed 'trunk' of the ship.

He jumped in and closed the slot before the ship eventually took off. He took a deep breath, feeling successful that he was able to enter undetected. At least… that's what he thought.

"Human kid? What are you doing in here?" a voice said on the other side of the trunk.

Dib gasped and looked to his left and noticed Skoodge sitting on the other end. "S-Skoodge?"

Skoodge jumped forward and placed his hand over Dib's mouth. "Keep quiet! I'm trying to hide in here."

Dib removed Skoodge's hand and said in a softer voice, "Why are you hiding in here?"

"I have a reason to believe that Zim and my Tallest are doing something… suspicious."

Dib blinked. "The fact that you're an irken and that you're saying they're doing something suspicious makes me really concerned."

Skoodge sighed. "Do you even understand what is going on?"

"I assume you do," Dib said. "You live with Zim, so perhaps you can fill me in." Dib was excited. He never really thought of going to Skoodge for information.

Skoodge shook his head. "N-no! I can't tell you. Zim specifically told me to withhold any information from you."

"Yeah, but apparently Zim isn't in the right mind right now," Dib said, turning Skoodge's words against him. "You said it yourself. They're doing something suspicious."

Skoodge sighed again. "Maybe you're right. Besides, you're already trapped here, and who knows if you'll ever be able to return to your planet, anyways."

Dib gulped. He didn't really think this plan through and it was already too late to back out of it. He was certain that they were already in the middle of space by now. "Alright, just tell me."

Skoodge cleared his throat, thanking for a moment. "I, uh… I saw Zim and my Tallest… connecting lips. It is to my understanding and knowledge that the two of them are possibly courting."

"Courting!" Dib exclaimed a bit louder.

Skoodge covered his mouth. "What are you doing? Do you want to get us caught? That's the first step for you to get killed and me to be permanently expelled from Irk."

Dib calmed down a little and eventually brushed aside Skoodge's hand again. "Fine… but, how could they possibly be courting? I thought irkens didn't have a sense of romantic interest."

"Most don't," Skoodge explained. "They think of it as a waste of time, but… sometimes there are the rare few. No one would suspect a Tallest of doing it."

"So… it's possible?" Dib asked. "Zim and your Tallest… love each other."

Skoodge nodded. "Yeah, it's possible. But if anyone found out, Red might be outcasted and Zim could get executed."

"Hm… that might solve a bunch of my problems," Dib said.

Skoodge shook his head quickly. "No, no, no. You couldn't possibly out them."

"Why not?" Dib asked. "Besides, if you aren't here to out them, then why did you sneak onboard?"

"Because… because…" Skoodge tried to think of an excuse, but he couldn't think of anything. "Because I was curious about it…"

Dib blinked. "You irkens are an anomaly to me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Never mind…" The ship bucked a bit. "Well… let's stick around here. This might be a long trip, I guess."

Skoodge nodded and got comfortable on the ground next to Dib.

Red put in the coordinates for the autopilot, then just sat back and got comfortable. "Alright, so we'll run by my room and you can hide in there while I go talk to Purple."

"Zim has to hide?" The small irken asked, his antennae falling. "But Zim wants to roam around the ship! Can't I put on one of my magnificent disguises?"

"There's a problem with that," Red said. Other than the problem that Zim's disguises were absolutely terrible. "We recently installed a system on the Massive that will detect anyone who is hiding under a disguise. It's to protect against intruders who are disguised as irkens. The minute they're onboard, security and me and Purple are alerted."

"I see. _Ingenious. _Though that screws up Zim's plans. How do you suppose I move around with you outside of your room?"

"Simple," Red said as he saw the Massive in the distance. "You'll stay with me at all times after my meeting with Purple. You'll remain cloaked and hopefully no one will recognize you."

"That would be difficult," Zim said. "I'm sure the gossip of Zim's _grand achievements_ has gotten all the way around the ship by now. The only way I could be more recognizable is if my face was mounted on a plaque. Which, by the way, would be great."

"Suuuure," Red said, chuckling a bit to himself. "I'll have to think on that one, but for now, we'll stick with the plan. I'm sure Purple is going to be a bit suspicious, but I think he'll understand."

Zim looked up to his Tallest with a beaming expression. "Your wits are enough to manipulate anyone, Red. Purple wouldn't be able to tell you are lying even if you weren't lying."

"Mmhmm." Red said with a smirk on his face. He did enjoy the attention. He planted a small kiss on the top of Zim's head before saying, "You're still a suck-up to your Tallest, aren't you?"

Zim looked down and clacked his fingers together. "Zim is not doing any kind of sucking, Red… he is just saying truthful words."

"I'll take your word for it," Red said. Although he did mostly enjoy making fun of Zim and, in a way, making him uncomfortable, that didn't mean he wasn't grateful for the compliments that Zim gave him. Zim's compliments adding to his ego was what brought them together in the first place, and Red was always prepared to return the favor. Except that… he didn't want to show weakness by showing his appreciation.

But… some days were different than others. He dragged his hand from the front of Zim's head to the back, flattening his antennae. This always made Zim feel good. "But thank you."

"You're welcome, Red."

Red smiled a bit, though it didn't last long. They were pulling into the Massive's main ship storage unit and there would certainly be guards waiting for him. He turned to his side and grabbed a black coat with a few red lines streaming down the sides. He handed it to Zim and said, "Here, put this on. Quickly. If the guards see you, they'll probably inform Purple and you'll be shot back to Earth."

Zim looked at the cloak and frowned. "Tallest Purple doesn't like Zim, does he?"

"Not important!"

Zim nodded and put on the cloak as they pulled into ship storage. The ship was buffed and diagnostics were done on it to see if it was okay. Red then opened it and the two of them stepped outside.

"My Tallest," the guard said, bowing. "Welcome back to the Massive."

Red simply nodded, as he normally did. "Mmhmm. Inform Purple of my presence. Tell him that I'll be on the bridge in a few minutes."

The guard saluted and said "Yes, my Tallest" before running off to send a transmission. Red then quickly headed to his room as Zim followed. They made it and Zim took off his cloak.

"Just stay here for a second," Red said. "Try not to blow anything up while I'm gone. You can send me a transmission if you desperately need to, but don't unless you have to."

"Yes, Red." Zim sat on Red's bed. Comfy and fit for a Tallest. Red thought he looked a bit… adorable up there.

Red then stepped out and quickly made his way to the Bridge. He sat down in his chair next to Purple and said, "Hey."

"Hey, how was your trip?" Purple asked as he chewed on a small doughnut.

"Fine. Nothing special."

"Sounds like the rest of your trips," Purple said. He looked at Red, then away. Then he looked back at Red. "So I have a question for you about your last trip. You said you went to Triscedet in order to personally review Invader Spleen's plan for destruction, right?"

"Of course, what about it?" Red asked. He had an elaborate set of lies for Purple when he left on 'trips'. Though, they all had huge holes in them, and there were plenty of ways for Purple to discover the lies.

"Interesting," Purple said. "Because Invader Spleen seemed really confused when I asked him where you were. He said that he hadn't heard from you since our last inspection of him last month."

Red gulped. He'd been caught. "U-uh… are you sure? Spleen could've had a… uh, mind flux and lost memory of my visit already. You know how he can be sometimes."

Purple blinked. He wasn't buying it. "Red, how is it that you're a Tallest, but you're the worst liar I'll ever know?"

"I'm not lying!" Red exclaimed. "Why would I lie to you?" He crossed his arms, thinking of a way to turn this around. "I think you don't trust me. Some friend you are."

"Some friend I am?!" Purple exclaimed. "Okay, well then how about I tell you the truth. I never talked to Spleen, but… I did happen to see that there was more than one person in your ship flying back. There were four of you, and unless you have three more of you, then you must've brought back some "friends" and you're not telling me."

"I'm telling you, Purple," Red said. "It's nothing, I swear. I just brought back a… SIR unit, and I was going to…" Red thought for a moment. "Wait, did you say four people?"


End file.
